Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Missing

I don't know if the planets are aligned, something in the water, or just that time of the year but it feels like as summer gets closer to ending (not that we've had much of a "summer") parents are finding themselves at their wits end.  A few blogs I follow have been talking about how they've been struggling with mommyhood lately.  Even a Facebook group I'm apart of had a post about things other mom's miss from their pre-kid days. 

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my kidlets to the ends of the Earth and beyond and there is nothing I wouldn't do for them, but every now and again I wonder "what did I get myself into?".  As parents we reminisce about things from our childless days, so here's some of what I miss from my pre-children days.

  • Sleep - the BIG thing I miss.  Getting to sleep in until I was ready to get up.  Being able to wake up slowly without having to get out of bed the moment my eyes are open. 
  • My pre-babies body - this is a funny one for me.  I was never happy with my pre-pregnancy weight and when I gained 45lbs with Lynden I was thrilled, hoping I'd be able to keep some of the weight on afterwards.  I succeed for almost a year and then I caught a bad cold and lost all the weight I had hoped to keep on. 
    Now, after gaining another 45lbs with Alyssa I've been able to keep the weight I wanted (we'll see what happens when I stop nursing) but this time I've keep a lot of the baby flub, which I'm not happy about.  I try to do ab workouts when I have a spare moment and the energy to do it in the hopes to tone down the flub.
  • My cute bikinis - when I went to the Dominican in 2007 I bought 2 Adorable bikinis and have not worn them since.  I was "blessed" with stretch marks that got worse with the second pregnancy (I doubled the stretch marks the second time around). 
  • Concerts - I miss just being able to go to a concert on a whim.  Now it's saving money, planning sitters and hoping Danny doesn't have to work. 
  • Reading - I remember being able to sit and read a book without constant interruptions.  Now, I'd settle for 20 minutes.
  • Using the bathroom in quiet - I use the shower as an escape when I've had a bad day, and I make a point to lock the door so I can spend 10-15 minutes in peace and quiet (and slightly hot water).  More often than not I'm accompanied to the bathroom by a toddler who wants clarification on what exactly I'm doing.  Even if I lock the door he yells through the bathroom and once I answer him he tells the nearest 20 people. 
  • Leaving on time - I try to be early when we're going somewhere.  It's hard to be early, or even on time, with kids.  It's a whole big planning process to get out the door.  Need to make sure the diaper bag has everything; diapers, wipes, pull-up, change of clothes per kid, snacks, drink, hats, sunglasses, toys, camera, sweaters, wallet (including the bank card), cell phone, and anything else we may need.  Has everyone used the potty and does Alyssa need a bum change?  Make sure both car seats are in, find the right shoes, if going grocery shopping do I have my list? bags? coupons?  I inevitably forget something, every time. 
    Even with Lynden, before Alyssa was born, I could leave the house at a drop of a hat.  I had diapers and a small thing of wipes in my purse, so I had to get his shoes and jacket on, grab a snack and drink and be out the door in 5 minutes.  I can't wait to get back to that. 
  • No back pain - I miss being able to sit for an hour and not have a hard time standing.  Amazing what carrying around pregnancy weight while holding a toddler followed by a toddler and baby will do to your back - it never had a chance. 
  • Regular bras - while I was pregnant I found this ADORABLE bra that I just couldn't pass up.  It's sitting in my drawer just waiting for the day I stop nursing. 
  • Spending time with my husband - it's hard to find quality one-on-one time with Danny, it doesn't help that he's working 2 jobs.  Even when we try to spend alone time in the evening when the kidlets are down it's still hard; its in the back of our mind that Alyssa could wake up at any moment for a feed or Lynden could need to pee or want to come sleep in our room. 

However, even though I miss all of these things, and more, it's all worth it when Alyssa smiles when she sees me, Lynden randomly decides to give hugs and kisses, when Alyssa reaches any new milestone, every time Lynden learns something new (which is daily), and even at night when we check in on the kidlets before we go to bed and they're both these beautiful sleeping angels we could watch for hours.  Like I said, I LOVE my kids to the ends of the earth and beyond and there's nothing I wouldn't do for them, even when I'm at my ropes end with them, so in the big picture I can live without all those things I miss. 

What do you miss from your pre-kid days?

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