The topic of baby #3 has come up a few times since we got pregnant with Alyssa.
Danny is quite happy with having one of each, he feels we have a good balance. He also feels like it's more work for him if we have another. I didn't quite see his reasoning; I figure he has fun the first night and holds my hand and tells me I'm going a good job 9 months later. He reminded me that for the first 3 months he'd be in change of both kids - guess that's more work... I guess. Either way, Danny is done.
Realistically, I know the chance of us having a third are slim to nil. Part of me is okay with that. We do have a "complete set", we're happy, and on track to recovering (financially) from the life changes we're gone through in the last 2 years. It's also nice to have two fairly independent kids; Alyssa's able to be left over night and we're about to start potty training. It's nice to be done with the "baby" stage.
It was no secret I wanted 3 kids.
I'm at the point where the memory of labour and infancy was dissipated and has been replaced with the knowledge of what life was like.
- I know labour hurt but I don't remember the pain.
- I know when Alyssa was 5 weeks old she ate all. night. long. for 5 weeks. I know I was tired but I don't remember how tired I was.
- I know Alyssa went through a phase where she would be awake from 10pm until 1 or 2am. I don't remember the frustration.
It's around this time we have this horrible, yet good, idea: "let's have another baby".
At times I think "yea, we can have another and stay afloat" but then I think "why should we just stay afloat when we can get ahead again?". A third baby would require a lot of change. We would need a larger house; where would be put all the toys?? We would also need a bigger car; fitting 3 car seats requires more room.
Then I think about Lynden starting preschool in the fall and how that leads to extra curricular activities; swimming, hockey, scouts, etc. Can we really afford this with another round of diapers?
I had a hard time finding out Alyssa was a girl. Don't get me wrong, I love her with every fiber of my being. I really wanted another boy.
Having said that I cannot imagine my life without my daughter. Every day I fall more and more in love with her.
One big concern I have about another baby is the middle child syndrome. I would hate to have it happen to my beautiful girl. So, if we were to have another child I would really want it to be a boy.
This solves the middle child problem and it gives Lynden a brother. There are a lot of female cousins around Alyssa's age to make up for the missing sister.
If we did have a boy how long until I'd feel like I'm robbing Alyssa of a sister and find myself here again? Ooh, the slippery slope...
There are too many uncontrollable factors for me and I like control. Shocking, I know.
Like I said, realistically I know we're done and Danny is waiting for me to say "okay, go get a vasectomy".
Even though I know we're (99.99%) done I cannot bring myself to finalize it.
How can you not want to hold another one of these??
|Lynden 1 day old|
|Alyssa hours old|