Have A Drink On Me

I am slowly nearing the end of breastfeeding, which is a big deal.  With Lynden I had major milk issues; at 3 months my body stopped producing milk, overnight.  It was frustrating.  I had a goal of 6 months, so I struggled for the next 3 months trying to keep nursing, only producing enough milk for him to nurse during the night.  When I was done it took 10 days for my left side to get engorged, that's how much milk I was (or wasn't) producing.

With Alyssa I planned on breastfeeding for 6 months and was prepared for the same 3 month issues for my milk.  3 months came and went and no issues, 6 months came and no issues, and since she was gaining well I decided I'll try to nurse for a year.  It's been just over a year and we're in the final stages of nursing.  She gets milk during the night only, everything else is Homo milk. 

However, as we near the end of breastfeeding I'm getting a little nervous. 

One reason I decided to keep nursing Alyssa after the 6 months (and I easily could have had her weaned completely in November or December) was so I wouldn't have to drink.  I know, it sounds stupid... I know, but let me explain. 

For some reason there has been a lot of pressure for me to drink.  I don't know why. 

After Lynden was born I was asked quite often "when are you going to start drinking again?".  Even with Alyssa there's been a lot of "when you start drinking again".  This astounds me, it really does.


For those of you who don't know me I am not a big drinker, never have been.  Turning 19 wasn't about being able to drink for me, it was about getting into the venues you had to be 19 to get in to see concerts.  In the almost 7 years Danny and I have been together he has seen me drunk 4 times; all but one, which was our wedding, occurred before I had Lynden.  I've even been told I'm "no fun" and a "poor sport" because I won't drink.

Now don't get me wrong, I have my days where my answer to "how was your day" has been "If I could drink..." but even then I might have 1 glass of wine.  But I find it infuriating that there's so much pressure to drink.  Why? 

Even Danny has talked to me about it, and I understand where he's coming from... to some degree, but even then it makes me want to drink less than I would have already.  I might not be the life of the party, not that I am when I do drink, but I have a good time and I can remember what happens the next day.  I also have 2 children who I am responsible for and they often sometimes wake up during the night, which defaults to mommy-duty. 

I don't understand the pressure I'm feeling.  I don't understand the emphasis on alcohol.  I don't understand why people think I would suddenly start drinking when I never really have.  I don't understand why people don't seem to want to accept that I'm okay without a drink in my hand. 

Now, don't get me wrong, there will be times when I will have the occasional drink.  Who am I to turn down a mojito??

I'm drooling already

I just want it to be on my terms, no pressure, just acceptance of my choice.


 I'm linking up with Shell over at Things I Can't Say