BFFs

I found this article recently about if schools in England banning "Best Friends". 

I can understand the attempt at getting rid of cliques and trying to get children to play more with their peers, probably in the hopes to reduce the amount of bullying in schools, which is very much needed.  But I am not sure that going as far as banning best friends is the right step in the right direction. 

I was one of those kids that was picked on and bullied.  This made my elementary school years miserable for me.  I didn't make my first real friend until I was in grade 5 and it was great (I say first real friend because my bullies were creative.  They would pretend to be my friend until they got useful information that they could use against me later, or wait til I was comfortable to go out, because a lot of them lived in the complex we lived in, and throw stuff at me). 

In grade 7 I met Ellen, who quickly became my best friend.  We were inseparable.  It was great to have a best friend, someone who I could trust completely and tell all my secrets too.  She gave the the confidence to trust people who wanted to be my friend.     

By grade 9 I was more comfortable with who I was and moving to high school opened the door to make more friends.  There was a core group of us, 6 girls, who were wonderful friends, however, being my friend came with a price tag: my bullies. 

Mommy Guilt

We are not a craft household, we don't have stunning art work by our kids hanging on the fridge or wall.  We don't have various craft projects on the go or have shelves lined with things drying. 

I feel guilty about this.

I want to have the problem of having so many different art projects that I don't know what to do with them.  I'd rather feel guilty about deciding what to keep and what to toss than having nothing.

And there are so many cute things I want to do with Lynden, in fact I have a board on Pinterest of things I want to do with him. 

So, every now and again my guilt over takes me and I break out the art supplies and find a craft I think we can handle.  It doesn't take long before the guilty quickly vanishes and anger takes over. 

Lynden is the type of person who will not do something unless he knows he can do it.  If he's not confident he won't even try, and this upsets me. 

Last week I decided to make caterpillars out of egg cartons with Lynden so while I had dinner cooking I dug out the paint and got him set up.  It took me about 10 minutes to regret my decision.  Lynden painted the top of the egg carton only and when I suggested he paint the sides he told me he didn't know how.  I showed him with the one I had been working on and once done told him to try.  Again I got "I don't know how" and that was it.  He wasn't willing to even try.

Yes, I know he's 3. 

But how will he learn to do anything new if he's not even willing to try??

Now, I realize it's a catch-22.  He doesn't know how to do it because we don't have a regular craft time and we don't do crafts because he's not willing to try.   (Much like my guilt for not doing more with him which turns to anger which leads back to the guilt for being angry over it)

But how can I make him try things?  He's 3 and stubborn (I don't know who he gets that from....). 

After getting angry with him and putting everything away I went and folded laundry.  Once I was done I asked Lynden to come and talk to me.  I explained that I want to do make things with him and to do that he has to try.  It's okay if we get dirty (Lynden's particular about getting stuff on his hands), we can wash our hands and clothes.  And if he doesn't know how to do something that's okay too, mommy will show him and then he has to be willing to try. 

He agreed, but he's 3 and has a selectively short memory (he'll remember that you promised him ice cream but conveniently forget to pick up his toys). 

He asked me to make worms, although I'm not sure what exactly that entails so we're going to draw them. 

I think one way I might go about it is I'll show him my Pinterest board and ask him what he wants to make.  Maybe if he chooses he'll be more excited about trying something new. 

I want to be that parent; the one who feels guilty about not being able to keep every wonderful piece of art work my kids make, not the one who feels guilty about having nothing to throw out.

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Have A Drink On Me

I am slowly nearing the end of breastfeeding, which is a big deal.  With Lynden I had major milk issues; at 3 months my body stopped producing milk, overnight.  It was frustrating.  I had a goal of 6 months, so I struggled for the next 3 months trying to keep nursing, only producing enough milk for him to nurse during the night.  When I was done it took 10 days for my left side to get engorged, that's how much milk I was (or wasn't) producing.

With Alyssa I planned on breastfeeding for 6 months and was prepared for the same 3 month issues for my milk.  3 months came and went and no issues, 6 months came and no issues, and since she was gaining well I decided I'll try to nurse for a year.  It's been just over a year and we're in the final stages of nursing.  She gets milk during the night only, everything else is Homo milk. 

However, as we near the end of breastfeeding I'm getting a little nervous. 

One reason I decided to keep nursing Alyssa after the 6 months (and I easily could have had her weaned completely in November or December) was so I wouldn't have to drink.  I know, it sounds stupid... I know, but let me explain. 

For some reason there has been a lot of pressure for me to drink.  I don't know why. 

After Lynden was born I was asked quite often "when are you going to start drinking again?".  Even with Alyssa there's been a lot of "when you start drinking again".  This astounds me, it really does.